Friday, April 22, 2011

H - Temper tantrums - terrible 2s

It's me again, sorry to bore you all.

They have arrived, with full force and power. The irrational, unprovoked, make-the-oak-tree-run-away tantrums of my daughter. They began rather suddenly and shockingly on Monday night with a full on screaming match, the work 'no' bandied around as though it were in fashion and an inconsolable, but hungry, tear-stained little F. This one was provoked only by an inability to convey quiche from fork to mouth 3 times in a row. It led to at least 15 minutes of screaming and 2 bewildered parents. Somehow, with no rational theory behind it, she began eating again and with that came calm.

On Thursday night, the same thing happened at bedtime.

Today on waking from her midday nap, the same thing happened. And my existence was clearly an insult to her. Any and all suggestions were refused, my presence was needed and rejected. Hugs were impossible, time alone was useless, time together was pointless. We were going to a friends and I thought about cancelling but then decided to go in hopes that the change of scenery would help. It did, but only gradually, she was still crying when we got there and only slowly lost her indignation.

Help! What is this developmental stage? Why do they explode? How can you make them feel safe and able to express themselves without falling apart?

I was looking for something to read on the web that included details on the psycho-social development that goes on at 18-24 months but nothing really went into detail frustratingly. I know there are no solutions but trying to understand what she's going through might at least help me empathise with her frustrations.