H - Temper tantrums - terrible 2s

It's me again, sorry to bore you all.

They have arrived, with full force and power. The irrational, unprovoked, make-the-oak-tree-run-away tantrums of my daughter. They began rather suddenly and shockingly on Monday night with a full on screaming match, the work 'no' bandied around as though it were in fashion and an inconsolable, but hungry, tear-stained little F. This one was provoked only by an inability to convey quiche from fork to mouth 3 times in a row. It led to at least 15 minutes of screaming and 2 bewildered parents. Somehow, with no rational theory behind it, she began eating again and with that came calm.

On Thursday night, the same thing happened at bedtime.

Today on waking from her midday nap, the same thing happened. And my existence was clearly an insult to her. Any and all suggestions were refused, my presence was needed and rejected. Hugs were impossible, time alone was useless, time together was pointless. We were going to a friends and I thought about cancelling but then decided to go in hopes that the change of scenery would help. It did, but only gradually, she was still crying when we got there and only slowly lost her indignation.

Help! What is this developmental stage? Why do they explode? How can you make them feel safe and able to express themselves without falling apart?

I was looking for something to read on the web that included details on the psycho-social development that goes on at 18-24 months but nothing really went into detail frustratingly. I know there are no solutions but trying to understand what she's going through might at least help me empathise with her frustrations.

Relationship Rescue Remedy

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Dr Sue Johnson is a fantastic book for couples to read together and discuss.

That's it, that's all.

Potty training

Well we have arrived at the potty training time. F has been ready for a while, talking about it, reading about it (The Potty Book and Diapers at not forever) sitting on it, standing on it, dare I say it, observing mummy.

So we decided to go for it, I bought knickers/panties/pants/underwear whatever you want to call it, we checked with the daycare that they'd be up for it and we were set to go. And the same week she spontaneously peed in the potty a couple of times.

So we began the first weekend we stayed home all Saturday, she sat on the potty many times, peed in it once I think and wet about 3 pairs of knickers and some trousers. Hmmm. But we continued on the Sunday and had a few more successes which we went crazy over and gave her stickers to put on her potty when she did well.

She wore pullups at daycare but didn't really succeed that week. The next weekend we continued the regimen and had moderate success, still we weren't sure we were doing the right thing.

After the next week of negativity from daycare we decided, one more weekend of trying then forget it till she's older (not wanting to give her a complex). And on Sunday night when I was just about to give up she clearly 'tried' to pee, and succeeded and was so pleased with herself. HURRAY - the EUREKA moment.

And since then it's improved daily, she's almost dry, we had one accident last weekend. Number 2s are less reliably done in the loo because she will often do them in her nap time or bedtime nappy.

So my next question is, do I buy cloth potty training pants for daycare seeing as this process takes a little longer than I thought? I'm not keen on pull-ups. So I'm researching it and I think it will be better because F will still feel the wetness when she pees which the pull-ups don't do.

I'll give you an update.....