A million magical little things and not much at all

Well, hello, all! It's been pretty quiet on our blog lately. I keep meaning to write a post but somehow I never get around to it. I think there are two main reasons for this.

Reason number one, which is obvious enough, is that I spend the vast majority of my time with a 20 month-old. She has a big personality and rather strong ideas about what she would like to do and how to do it, so even when she's asleep and I should have time to write, my brain is usually kind of fried.

Reason number two has been floating around in my head lately as a way of describing my current reality as mother of said small person: our days seem to be filled with a million magical little things and not much at all, both at the same time. Little A is in the midst of a language explosion, and it's amazing to witness her learning to express herself with so many new words and short phrases. I marvel at this learning on a daily basis, as well as at the new skills she's acquiring so rapidly. For instance, when exactly did she learn to pour water from one cup to another? And the other day, she walked up a kids' play structure, holding onto the railing, with one foot in front of the other for the very first time, but she looked like she'd been doing it forever. These are all special milestones for me to witness, but I feel like when I write them down, they come out as little snippets that simply don't capture the magic that happens every day as my girl grows and learns. And when I zoom out from the new words and skills, I see a blur of playgroups, park outings, errands and nap times that are hard for me to even remember come the end of the week, let alone find a way to write about that wouldn't put us all to sleep.

My life right now is mundane and magical all at once. I suppose the two balance each other out and keep me from being overwhelmed by either extreme.

Rethinking praise

I just read this article on the risks of overusing praise and lines like "good job" with our kids. This is definitely food for thought for me. I'm sure if I counted the number of times in a day that I say "good job" to little a., I would quickly run out of fingers. What are your thoughts on this - is praise something you're wary of, and if so, have you replaced it with some other kind of reaction?

In spirit

Hey ladies,

I hear you'll be getting together for a night out tomorrow night and I just wanted to say that I will be thinking of you and communing with you all in spirit! I thought I'd take a moment to jot down a few little snippets that I would no doubt have shared if I could have been there to join you.

• You may have been following the tutu saga on Facebook. Little a. insists on wearing it some days and forgets about it entirely on others. Her aunt very kindly sent along a beautiful purple tutu, quite a bit bigger in order to avoid any quarrels between little a. and her tutu-loving friend E. So far, no interest on the part of little a. I bet it will take E. wanting to try it on to make this beautiful new tutu an appealing option for her.

• I think little a. is starting to say "I want..." which seems quite linguistically advanced to me. Unfortunately it is inevitably followed by babble, so I don't usually understand what she is actually hankering after.
  

• We've gotten into a pretty good rhythm during the week of going out in the morning, coming home for lunch and then a nice two-hour nap. When we lived in Montreal, I didn't feel the need to get out of the house so much, but these days, it seems like days go much more smoothly if we do. Fortunately, there are a plethora of different activities and drop-ins for us to choose from, as well as a very welcoming library with play area in the neighbourhood. Anyone else find that at this age, getting out of the house is a must?

I'm sure I could ramble on and on, but the most important thing to say is simply this: "I miss you guys!" Don't get me wrong: it's great to be out here and catch up with family and old friends (and escape winter for the most part) but I sorely miss our little circle of moms. I'm sure I will manage to create a similar network with time, but I have yet to really connect with any other moms of toddlers right about the same age of little a... so I am so glad that we continue to share our stories online.

Have a blast tomorrow night, my friends. You deserve it!!

On the topic of food... a (cook)book recommendation

My mum recently gave me a book that I find myself referring to as a "(cook)book" because it is so much more than a collection of recipes. It's called The Family Dinner: Great Ways to Connect with Your Kids, One Meal at a Time by Laurie David (ex-wife of the producer of Seinfeld, interestingly enough). This book is not only beautiful to flip through and a source of a good variety of recipes (many vegetarian, and many not), but also a real inspiration when it comes to building up the tradition of the family dinner in your home. It's full of anecdotes about family dinner and ideas for connecting with your kids (admittedly older than ours are at the moment) at the table.

When I first got this book, I sat down and read the first 60 pages practically straight through, which is not something I can say about many books at all, let alone cookbooks. And, get this: little a. is extremely drawn to flipping through the pictures in this book - cover to cover - with me! I find that particularly touching, because I have no doubt that this book will be a staple in our home throughout her childhood. Maybe someday I will give her her own copy when she starts a family of her own. Yes, this book really does make me feel that sappy.

Happy reading, and bon appétit!

Mamas' Coffee Night

I just wanted to post quickly to share something really simple with all of you. So simple I can't believe we haven't been doing it ourselves.

A friend invited me to join her and some of her other mom friends for 'Mamas' Coffee Night' last night, something they do every couple of weeks on a Sunday or Monday. We met at 7:30, once all the kidlets were in bed, at a mutually convenient coffee shop, got ourselves drinks and treats, and sat and talked, and talked, and talked... until they kicked us out at 10:00! It was so fun and such a great way to pick each others' brains about different issues and share stories. It made me wish we had organized such a regular get together while I was still in the neighbourhood with all of you.... but alas! So I offer the idea to you, and hope you will run with it, because I can already tell that it's something that will be good for my mental health and my parenting.

Amber teething necklace, I love you!

Little a had been having a cranky kind of week, waking up a couple of times each night, napping for only short periods and waking up miserable, and generally being out of sorts. She's been working on some new teeth, so I was pretty sure it was teething but the Tylenol and chamomilla (homeopathic treatment) we were giving her didn't really seem to improve the situation. So, after a couple of days of toughing it, I decided it was time to try a teething necklace.

I had seen them on friends' babies and thought they were cute, but honestly little a's teething woes had never warranted one. Oh, and I was also a little sceptical about how well they could really work. That being said, the other day I announced to my husband that it was time to buy one. TODAY.

So my dear husband made it his mission for the day, and came home with a gorgeous Baltic amber teething necklace from a local baby shop for his little girl. (It seems that amber teething necklaces are more popular out West, whereas I had seen a lot of witch hazel bark necklaces in Montreal - I don't know anything about the differences or levels of effectiveness between the two.) We put it on right away, thinking that at the very least we would feel like we were doing what we could to make the situation more bearable for all of us.

My, oh my, has the necklace exceeded our expectations! Little a has slept for 12 solid hours the last two nights, and yesterday she had a 3.5 hour nap (it would have been longer, but I had to wake her up because we were heading out for dinner). I think the pain-relieving qualities of the necklace are taking the edge off for her to get the rest she needs, whereas before she was in too much pain to keep sleeping. Everyone in our household is happier now, and her father and I are simply crossing our fingers that the fantastic sleep isn't just a coincidence or some kind of beginner's luck. If I have anything to say about it, that necklace is staying on until Little a is 6!

S - On the other hand...

I've found this week trying week because, well, I have a 16 month old. A 16 month old who has a finely tuned sense of what she does and does not want. So I've been dealing with a lot of NOs and a generous dose of back-arching and banshee-like screaming when I attempt to do such offensive things as put little a. into her stroller or high chair. I've been feeling overwhelmed and a little undone by these new behaviours and had been mentally putting together a post to that effect over the last few days - at best a cry for help, but more likely a letter of complaint.

But then, today, I had a moment of pure joy with little a. that helped me to remember some of the wonderful things about her growing more and more into a little person with her own sense of self. It's a little thing that warms my heart: when she expresses some sort of wish and I understand it and ask "Do you want an orange?" (for example), her face lights up into the hugest smile and she nods her head dramatically. It's a look that transcends the request at hand to reveal the pride she feels at being understood. And in turn it leaves me with the amazing feeling of really communicating with my daughter.

Through this realization, I was able to turn my focus from what's been bringing me down to reveling in something good. And I want to ask you, what is going on with your little ones these days that brings a smile to your face? Oh, and while I'm here... anyone have tips on how to nix the back-arching?

Our meals this week

Well, I've been putting off posting our meals because we just moved and I feel like we're not eating anything particularly inspiring... but hey, this is real life. So here goes...

Monday - Baked breaded sole, whole wheat rotini, and brussel sprouts served with a cheese sauce (the last three items selected because I was pretty sure little a would eat them)

Tuesday - Pad Thai with tofu, prepared by my husband, bless him. Our favourite recipe is from the Rebar Cookbook. Avery loved the noodles!

Wednesday - Black bean and sweet potato burritos, as posted by A (thanks!)

Thursday - Dinner with friends of ours - they host an 'open house' dinner every Thursday!

Friday - Pizza. Friday is always pizza chez nous, for the simple reason that by the time I get to the end of my meal plan, I don't have to rack my brains for what to cook. And we love pizza. This week, I think I'll make this Indian inspired version and possibly add some lentils for extra protein.

I don't tend to plan meals on the weekends, as D and I share the cooking on the weekends and we just take it as it comes.

S - Lean on me

Having just moved with husband and 16 month-old across three time zones, I'm thinking a lot these days about what elements I want to build into our new life and particularly into my new life as a stay-at-home mom in a new city. Since I lived here as a teenager and my parents are still here, we have family and good friends in town, which will be wonderful. However, most of those people work during the week, so I will have Monday to Friday to fill up. I suppose I had to do that in Montreal, too, but it happened more gradually as I moved out of the fog of the newborn phase and was more easily able to get out of the house, so it (that aspect of it, anyway) didn't feel as daunting at the time. This time, I have a very active little person on my hands who needs stimulation and interaction with other toddlers/children, and quite frankly I often find myself frazzled and frustrated at the end of a full day spent at home by myself with little A.

I've started a little list of activities that little A and I can partake in here. And I have a friend who's home with her 2.5 year old daughter; I hope that the four of us will see each other regularly. I was feeling pretty good about those leads when the above-mentioned friend asked me how I deal with the isolation of being a SAHM. Wow.... thud. That brought me down to earth fast! It can be terribly isolating staying at home with a little person all week... but I didn't experienced it that way, not much anyway, because of the strong support network I wove for myself in our old neighbourhood. Because of my fellow yoga zen moms!

Then today I read a post on a blog I have loved for a long time, in which the writer, a new mom to her second son, describes how vital to her mental health it can be reach out when she's feeling vulnerable. About how it can be so hard to do, but it can do so much good. I wanted to share the post here, because it rings true to me and I feel it's important for us to remember to reach out and lean on each other when the going gets rough, whether you're a mom who works at home or outside the home.

In building this new life of ours, I will need to think of activities, yes. But additionally and arguably more importantly, I will need to seek out connections with people to whom I can turn in my more challenging moments, to whom I can show my vulnerability. I write this and I think, "of course," because it's those kinds of connections that kept me afloat through those difficult early months and beyond.

Thank goodness for the Internet and all the ways I can stay in touch with the people I left behind when we left Montreal. Thank goodness for this new forum for sharing with each other. I feel lucky to be able to do a little leaning on your virtual shoulders, and to be here for you, even as I start to weave a new network for myself way out West.

Has motherhood changed the way you connect with friends, or your need to reach out?