H - A couple of thoughts on our ever changing, delightful toddlers

It's been ever such a long time.... so sorry. Summer totally flew by.

Here are some random thoughts on beds, deep breathing, holidays and anything else that comes up.

So we bought a big girl (full size, single bed which she'll have till she's 18!) today. It should be delivered any moment. On holiday F slept in 5 different beds, mattresses on the floor, a pack and play when camping (oh yes - not much sleep) and a full size bed. She did incredibly well and adapted brilliantly despite frequent changes. So we're going for it and changing up her room. We've gone straight for the big bed, with drawers in the bottom so she can tidy her toys away, which are spreading across the bedroom big time, it's her playroom too.

Travelling on the plane was not as hellish as I thought, she slept on the way there and she coped on the way back. But I did a terrible, but effective, thing on the way back. So we took her car seat on the plane and she sat it in, a very good idea because she loves it and sleeps well in it. However it meant she could very efficiently kick the seat in front. And she did, sometimes deliberately because I told her not to and at other times she just did it without thinking. So I resorted to tying her legs to the car seat with string. Loosely of course. She could move them a bit and they came loose if you pulled her out of the seat so it wasn't dangerous. And it totally worked!

Gravol was useful, 'nuff said.

2 year olds have jetlag, this I now know to be true.

We bought a tall seat for F to sit on for meals now and she is loving it. There's a little bit of, 'don't get down from the table we haven't finished' but it's not bad. And the high chair may be banished to the garage. Hurrah.

Tonight F got upset at bedtime, I decided to follow through on a 'if you don't sit still and stop messing about I will not read this book' threat. Yes I know, bad time of day to do this. Anyway, she escalated. I had to go and calm her down and I decided to introduce slow breathing as an idea for de-escalating. So I put my hand on her tummy and told her to breath and push my hand out whilst I demonstrated and she didn't really get it but tried and focussed on it, which helped her to stop crying. Then she turned on her tummy and started doing longer breaths. I was amazed. And so I was able to leave her to sleep and listen to her bedtime CD and breath evenly. I do believe she is in slumberland now!

Well that's all folks. Hope everyone is well.

M - Travel Bags!

When talking about an upcoming roadtrip, a friend directed me to some cool web sites like this one and this one. I find the idea of simple, travel activities each individually packed into a ziplock bag to be completely brilliant!!! Maybe it's the wanna be organized gal inside me!

So this got me thinking. I would love to whip up a dozen of these activities but like all of you, I don't have a heck of a lot of free time on my hands. So why don't we do a swap???? I know some of you have some really, really long car/plane rides ahead of you!!!

Here's my idea: Those interested in swapping let me know (either by email or comments on here) and we each make one activity in a ziplock bag (make one for each person signed up). This way, we instantly get lots of activities! There are tons of simple ideas on the two links above so you don't have to be a super crafty person like some people on here (cough pink brain cough. I suggest that each activity be flat enough so that it can be mailed in a manila envelope if some of our out of towners (sob! M & S!!!) wish to participate, that way it would only cost two stamps or something like that to send.... I think we have each others mailing addresses but that info would obviously be kept private - seriously, it's just us here right??

So let me know what you guys think! If interested, please let me know and I will organize it all. The activity is up to you!

H - Bed time revisited

We were forced, today, into a mattress on the floor, dismantling the crib situation. This is not how I would plan it, I'm a planner, regimented at times when it comes to our tout-petit. And given her desire to climb anything in sight, including her crib, we were really hoping that she wouldn't have this desire during the night or during a nap until we return from the UK in late August. We didn't want an unsettling chaneg in the midst of lots of changes (housesitting for 3 weeks in July whilst renovations in our house were being done) followed by a 3 week trip to the UK. You can see why.

Plus you know, there must be books out there that you can read to prepare your little one for a big bed. And there's this great idea that you buy the bed and install it in the room next to the crib and your child decides when to switch.

Ha ha.

She climbed right out after nap today, and when I went into her room to get her up she's standing behind the door. Looking a little dazed, rubbing her leg and forehead. Right then my husband and I took an executive decision - take the cot down. And we did it with her watching and she got to make up her bed on the floor with her crib mattress. Luckily she has been napping on a mattress on the floor at daycare for a couple of weeks so it's not a huge shock, but it seemed sudden to us.

Anyway, I'll let you know what happens tomorrow morning.... so far, one waking as a result of rolling out of bed onto the blanket. She was easily comforted, didn't fully wake and we tucked her back in (something she's not used to) and added more cushioning.

Wish us luck.

M - The one tooth biting wonder

Hi Ladies! Long time since someone has posted! Wish I had a funny story to share...I'm still in denial that the first yoga baby has turned 2!! Where on earth has the past 2 years gone?

Today's cry for help relates to breastfeeding....I'll be honest...right now, I want to stop. I want to stop right this second! I want to have stopped weeks ago. Why? Because Loïc feeds every 2 hours at night, he only calms for the boob, he only falls asleep on the boob. I know the benefits of breastfeeding and will keep it going because of that....and it is an easy way to calm him....but I am burnt out. I could deal with the lack of sleep and the constant need for him to take milk....but the new development is that he is constantly biting me with his one tooth. So far, I've been bitten about 6 times since Saturday. Sometimes it seems accidental, most times seem deliberate. Every time he bites me I instanty put him down and let him cry for a few minutes. Now, I'm super nervous everytime I feed him which he probably senses..

Loïc is starting solids. We had planned a baby led weaning/puree hybrid approach this time...and it's funny, he does great with whole hunks of food- the kid will not take a spoon from us!!! He's pretty much eating what we are...not enough to replace feeds yet though but it's starting! He's starting to take some water from a sippy cup but will absolutely not take a bottle.

So ladies, any advice? Anything to help me either get him to stop biting/eating constantly or even on how to start weaning??? HEEEELP!!!!

A million magical little things and not much at all

Well, hello, all! It's been pretty quiet on our blog lately. I keep meaning to write a post but somehow I never get around to it. I think there are two main reasons for this.

Reason number one, which is obvious enough, is that I spend the vast majority of my time with a 20 month-old. She has a big personality and rather strong ideas about what she would like to do and how to do it, so even when she's asleep and I should have time to write, my brain is usually kind of fried.

Reason number two has been floating around in my head lately as a way of describing my current reality as mother of said small person: our days seem to be filled with a million magical little things and not much at all, both at the same time. Little A is in the midst of a language explosion, and it's amazing to witness her learning to express herself with so many new words and short phrases. I marvel at this learning on a daily basis, as well as at the new skills she's acquiring so rapidly. For instance, when exactly did she learn to pour water from one cup to another? And the other day, she walked up a kids' play structure, holding onto the railing, with one foot in front of the other for the very first time, but she looked like she'd been doing it forever. These are all special milestones for me to witness, but I feel like when I write them down, they come out as little snippets that simply don't capture the magic that happens every day as my girl grows and learns. And when I zoom out from the new words and skills, I see a blur of playgroups, park outings, errands and nap times that are hard for me to even remember come the end of the week, let alone find a way to write about that wouldn't put us all to sleep.

My life right now is mundane and magical all at once. I suppose the two balance each other out and keep me from being overwhelmed by either extreme.

H - Temper tantrums - terrible 2s

It's me again, sorry to bore you all.

They have arrived, with full force and power. The irrational, unprovoked, make-the-oak-tree-run-away tantrums of my daughter. They began rather suddenly and shockingly on Monday night with a full on screaming match, the work 'no' bandied around as though it were in fashion and an inconsolable, but hungry, tear-stained little F. This one was provoked only by an inability to convey quiche from fork to mouth 3 times in a row. It led to at least 15 minutes of screaming and 2 bewildered parents. Somehow, with no rational theory behind it, she began eating again and with that came calm.

On Thursday night, the same thing happened at bedtime.

Today on waking from her midday nap, the same thing happened. And my existence was clearly an insult to her. Any and all suggestions were refused, my presence was needed and rejected. Hugs were impossible, time alone was useless, time together was pointless. We were going to a friends and I thought about cancelling but then decided to go in hopes that the change of scenery would help. It did, but only gradually, she was still crying when we got there and only slowly lost her indignation.

Help! What is this developmental stage? Why do they explode? How can you make them feel safe and able to express themselves without falling apart?

I was looking for something to read on the web that included details on the psycho-social development that goes on at 18-24 months but nothing really went into detail frustratingly. I know there are no solutions but trying to understand what she's going through might at least help me empathise with her frustrations.

Relationship Rescue Remedy

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Dr Sue Johnson is a fantastic book for couples to read together and discuss.

That's it, that's all.

Potty training

Well we have arrived at the potty training time. F has been ready for a while, talking about it, reading about it (The Potty Book and Diapers at not forever) sitting on it, standing on it, dare I say it, observing mummy.

So we decided to go for it, I bought knickers/panties/pants/underwear whatever you want to call it, we checked with the daycare that they'd be up for it and we were set to go. And the same week she spontaneously peed in the potty a couple of times.

So we began the first weekend we stayed home all Saturday, she sat on the potty many times, peed in it once I think and wet about 3 pairs of knickers and some trousers. Hmmm. But we continued on the Sunday and had a few more successes which we went crazy over and gave her stickers to put on her potty when she did well.

She wore pullups at daycare but didn't really succeed that week. The next weekend we continued the regimen and had moderate success, still we weren't sure we were doing the right thing.

After the next week of negativity from daycare we decided, one more weekend of trying then forget it till she's older (not wanting to give her a complex). And on Sunday night when I was just about to give up she clearly 'tried' to pee, and succeeded and was so pleased with herself. HURRAY - the EUREKA moment.

And since then it's improved daily, she's almost dry, we had one accident last weekend. Number 2s are less reliably done in the loo because she will often do them in her nap time or bedtime nappy.

So my next question is, do I buy cloth potty training pants for daycare seeing as this process takes a little longer than I thought? I'm not keen on pull-ups. So I'm researching it and I think it will be better because F will still feel the wetness when she pees which the pull-ups don't do.

I'll give you an update.....

Mommmmmmieeeeeee

So it's been a hard week for me. AP has another cold and it has been pretty rough on many levels. Not only has she been waking up at night regularly, but she's been having weird tantrums, usually around 3am, where she throws off her beloved blankie (which she usually can't sleep without)and kicks her legs against the side of her crib. All of this is done while screaming "mommmmieeeeeeeee" over and over again. Not fun. She's also starting to throw tantrums when things don't go exactly as she expects them to. For instance, if she asks for a banana and I peel one for her and give her a small piece instead of letting HER break off the piece herself, she goes nuts. I feel like she's really tied to her routines and preferences these days and if we deviate even slightly, she breaks down. Is this typical toddler/21 month old behaviour or perhaps a reaction to being over-tired from the frequent colds and other illnesses that have hit our household in the last few weeks...? Or perhaps a reaction to her father being away?

Anyways. I just needed to vent. I know my problems are insignificant given the state of today’s world and sometimes I feel guilty venting and feeling overwhelmed by things that don’t involve famine, violence or massive earthquakes. I know I am SO lucky and blessed in so many ways. But sometimes, I feel that if I hear another whiny “mommmmmieeeeeeeeee” come out of my typically sweet little girl’s mouth, my head might just explode. Thanks for listening.

Clocking out for the day

When Alex takes a nice long nap, I occasionally get a couple of hours to myself to do some laundry, tidy up or sew. When he doesn't take a long nap (or no napping at all) I get very little time to myself. Even bathroom time is rarely solo. I put in 12 hour days. Everyday. There's also the occasional night time shift. Can you imagine if an employer made you work those hours. Oh wait. I have had crappy jobs where breaks are non-existant. What I did at those jobs is the same thing I do now. I take it upon myself to take a break. When Alex finally goes to bed for the night, I am off duty. I stop the dishes (too noisy anyway), and ignore the laundry that needs folding (there's always more laundry!). I read, or watch a movie, or sew, or just surf the internet for a bit before collapsing into bed. I once complained it's too difficult to iron while Alex is awake and my husband suggested I iron after he goes to bed. Umm no. That's like bringing home work from the office. I don't get paid enough for that.
It's done wonders for my mental health. I'm much happier having a bit of time to myself where NOTHING is required of me. Until the cat coughs up a hairball or mister wakes up from noisy neighbours, and then I'm on duty again. It's about putting on your own oxygen mask first, before helping others to put theirs on.

Rethinking praise

I just read this article on the risks of overusing praise and lines like "good job" with our kids. This is definitely food for thought for me. I'm sure if I counted the number of times in a day that I say "good job" to little a., I would quickly run out of fingers. What are your thoughts on this - is praise something you're wary of, and if so, have you replaced it with some other kind of reaction?

In spirit

Hey ladies,

I hear you'll be getting together for a night out tomorrow night and I just wanted to say that I will be thinking of you and communing with you all in spirit! I thought I'd take a moment to jot down a few little snippets that I would no doubt have shared if I could have been there to join you.

• You may have been following the tutu saga on Facebook. Little a. insists on wearing it some days and forgets about it entirely on others. Her aunt very kindly sent along a beautiful purple tutu, quite a bit bigger in order to avoid any quarrels between little a. and her tutu-loving friend E. So far, no interest on the part of little a. I bet it will take E. wanting to try it on to make this beautiful new tutu an appealing option for her.

• I think little a. is starting to say "I want..." which seems quite linguistically advanced to me. Unfortunately it is inevitably followed by babble, so I don't usually understand what she is actually hankering after.
  

• We've gotten into a pretty good rhythm during the week of going out in the morning, coming home for lunch and then a nice two-hour nap. When we lived in Montreal, I didn't feel the need to get out of the house so much, but these days, it seems like days go much more smoothly if we do. Fortunately, there are a plethora of different activities and drop-ins for us to choose from, as well as a very welcoming library with play area in the neighbourhood. Anyone else find that at this age, getting out of the house is a must?

I'm sure I could ramble on and on, but the most important thing to say is simply this: "I miss you guys!" Don't get me wrong: it's great to be out here and catch up with family and old friends (and escape winter for the most part) but I sorely miss our little circle of moms. I'm sure I will manage to create a similar network with time, but I have yet to really connect with any other moms of toddlers right about the same age of little a... so I am so glad that we continue to share our stories online.

Have a blast tomorrow night, my friends. You deserve it!!

M - Putting Things Into Perspective

Things have been rough around here lately....two babies, double ear infection, starting daycare, basement renos, etc. etc. So rough in fact that I usually collapse into bed by 9:30 (If I'm lucky and Loïc goes down that early) and think about how rough life has gotten.

It was amazing timing then to receive this (sorry for the link, for some reason I can't copy and paste into this box) in an email from S. Shortly after, I was telling a friend in a similar situation with two little ones about the oak tree analogy and she told me that at the end of the day when she also collapses into bed, she reflects upon the rough parts of her day - but she reflects upon how short lived they really were in the grand scheme of things. "Wow, that was a really intense hour I had".

This really got me thinking and taking note. The most challening parts of my day were in fact not adding up in hours like they felt! In reality, there would maybe be an hour or hour and a half stretch that felt like hell but really, it was just an hour or hour and a half. What about the other hours in my day?

So now, I try my best to channel the oak tree and to put my day into perspective. It's so easy to focus on the difficult and negative parts and to let that drain and frustrate me, but really, I'm forgetting about the amazing and funny moments with Rand and Loïc - and trust me, there are a lot of those too!

Recommended vaccine against the rotavirus (responsible for gastroentiritis)

Hi,

Me again. I just wanted to ask this general question.

Did your babies get the vaccine against rotavirus?

I'm asking because Nolan's pediatrician highly recommended it to us when he was still young because he said every year, he's seen many infants get hit with the gastro. Not sure if another virus is responsible but we did have Nolan vaccinated against this when he was younger (it's called Rotateq), in addition to the usual ones. So far, he hasn't gotten gastro (knock on wood!!) so I'm not sure maybe this is the strain that the vaccine was developed for?

It's given by mouth so he didn't mind it then in addition to his other shots.

I can't remember if the government covered this vaccine. I seem to recall that Dr. Lupu said it wasn't covered yet but he highly recommended it to us back then and seemed passionate about it enough that we said yes.

Just as an FYI. Of course, nothing is fullproof but just in case...

Christine

We've finally joined the sickness club

So I was thinking of this blog at 2:30 AM on saturday night when I woke up to find Emilie bawling in her bed covered in vomit!

Yup, it's finally happened, gastro has hit this house. So far only Émilie is sick and my hands are cracked from washing them so much in order to avoid getting it myself.

I just wanted to send a shout out to all of you who have been dealing with sick kiddies; especially on your own! I'm not sure how you pulled it off solo especially in the middle of the night when you are scrambling between comforting/cleaning the frightened toddler and cleaning/disinfecting the mess she's sitting in!

I thought of many of your posts and tips you had given. We really can't complain since she's 19 months and this is her first time really being sick but it's tough nonetheless. They are so helpless and listless and she is now absolutely terrified of our stainless steel bowls since she associates them with throwing up... poor kid.

The worst has passed and now it's a matter of seeing if I can get her to eat any solids (so far only saltine crackers have been accepted and tears at the sight of anything else), and monitoring the rash that has developed (heat rash from fever I believe).

All that to say, many of you have been in my thoughts over the last 48 hrs and I appreciated having read your posts on this sharing board.

Hoping all your little ones are healthy and happy.

xx

H - Learning from my mistakes

So gastro.... that's what you ladies call it, good old 'sickness and diarrhea' (tell it like it is) in the UK. Boy, it's ghastly.

Thursday afternoon, F is struck by vomiting.
Thursday night, vomiting finally subsides once mummy realises that even the tiniest sip of water provokes retching.
Pedialyte? You have got to be kidding mum.
Sleep is our best friend.

Friday morning - mummy isn't feeling so hot.
She gets the D in S&D.... all day.
Mummy reads babycenter.ca a lot. When to reintroduce solids? Any solids? Milk? Some say no, only water, rice, bread, bananas and apples (including my mother). Others (Pediatricians who should know better) say EVERYTHING. Normal diet equals quicker recovery.
Who is right? Experimenting on F begins.

To cut to the chase, Mum is right - NO dairy, not a drop. Because if you give milk to a recovering gastro sufferer you get cheese vomit and nasty nasty diarrhea and a very sad baby. Sorry for the gritty details but I want to warn you off the 'new' approach to giving solids. After yesterday's dairy disaster today I followed the old and wise sayings of our mothers. She ate bread, rice cooked in broth, banana, apple, cheerios, bread and chicken soup. And I have not seen hide nor hair of them since, not from any end.

Learn from my mistakes!

On the topic of food... a (cook)book recommendation

My mum recently gave me a book that I find myself referring to as a "(cook)book" because it is so much more than a collection of recipes. It's called The Family Dinner: Great Ways to Connect with Your Kids, One Meal at a Time by Laurie David (ex-wife of the producer of Seinfeld, interestingly enough). This book is not only beautiful to flip through and a source of a good variety of recipes (many vegetarian, and many not), but also a real inspiration when it comes to building up the tradition of the family dinner in your home. It's full of anecdotes about family dinner and ideas for connecting with your kids (admittedly older than ours are at the moment) at the table.

When I first got this book, I sat down and read the first 60 pages practically straight through, which is not something I can say about many books at all, let alone cookbooks. And, get this: little a. is extremely drawn to flipping through the pictures in this book - cover to cover - with me! I find that particularly touching, because I have no doubt that this book will be a staple in our home throughout her childhood. Maybe someday I will give her her own copy when she starts a family of her own. Yes, this book really does make me feel that sappy.

Happy reading, and bon appétit!

Backseat Gourmet: Picky Eaters are a Parent's Responsibility

A great blog post about picky eaters. I like her advice to Step Back and Relax.

Backseat Gourmet: Picky Eaters are a Parent's Responsibility


J.

Daddy gone restaurant?

This is often what AP asks when her father is not home. He works at a restaurant near our place and yes, often he is there when he is not home. But this Wednesday, he will be travelling out of the country, to Ghana, for almost 8 weeks. I really have no idea what to expect. What will I say when she asks me where he is? She knows the word “Ghana” and she knows that it’s “far away”, but that’s about it. Since he often works nights, she’s used to going to bed without him around and she’s gotten into the routine of kissing a picture of him before going to sleep. I am definitely the one who spends more time with her, for a bunch of reasons, but she is definitely very attached to her daddy and to our routine. Lately he's been taking her to daycare in the mornings, and I leave before she wakes up. The girl loves structure, like most toddlers do I think, and I’m worried about the interruption. I’m not too worried about myself and how I’ll cope, but I really feel unprepared for her reaction. Any tips on what I can say to her in preparation and when he's actually gone? Thanks.

A.

Car seat frustration

I'm having a really hard time tighting the straps enough on C's forward-facing car-seat, and I'm wondering if there's something wrong with the seat (or with me??) or is it just a regular car seat thing? (We inherited the seat from my brother-in-law; it's fine for expiration date and all of that stuff, but I'm wondering if maybe the straps are twisted inside or something?) However, they seem quite easy to tighten if she's not in the seat or if there's a lot of slack, but once it gets within a few inches of her chest I kill myself trying to get it tighter.

We switched C to the forward-facing seat around the same time we had to start dressing her in a full snowsuit, so I'm not sure how much is just due to the bulkiness. It's one of those things for which I have a very low frustration tolerance (i.e., it's freezing out, we're in a rush to get to work/daycare, she's potentially screaming and arching her back because she doesn't want her mitts on, etc.)...so I'm wondering - do I just suck it up and keep yanking on that strap, or do we invest in a new seat? If someone told me there's one out there that's super "smooth" to get in and out, I think we'd go for it!!